Get Full Access to You
What is it that you just can’t stand to be with? What is the quality that when it shows up in others or (gulp) yourself you turn and walk away? Here are a few qualities that push that button in many of us:
• Selfishness
• Weakness
• Arrogance
• Ignorance
For most of us, there is one negative quality that pushes our buttons the most. When you sense this quality in someone, you may find that you numb out or react without thinking. In that numbing out or reacting, you lose a little bit of access to your full self. You’ve learned to do this to cope with that button getting pushed. However, letting yourself be with the discomfort a little more will expand your capacity to respond and be your whole self.
When you feel a difficult feeling and sit with it for a little while without pushing it away, something shifts. Sitting with that feeling means for a moment not doing ANYTHING about it: not solving it, not making sense of it, nothing. You can expand your capacity to do this little by little, 5 seconds at a time.
Here’s an example: A woman feels disgust when she sees someone being weak. She wants everyone to embrace their power and their choices, and when she sees someone not taking action on their own behalf, she shuts down to them and withdraws. She needed certain people to be strong at times in her life and was let down. She’s learned how to shut down to protect herself from further disappointment. The problem for her is that she’s limiting herself and being run by this reaction. Feelings of weakness show up in everyone, including her. When she can sit with her discomfort a little bit longer, she will have more choices when she encounters weakness.
Consider what quality pushes your button and notice your reaction when you perceive it. Complete this sentence. “I can’t stand it when people are.…When I encounter that I feel….”
Now try sitting with that feeling and letting it move through you whether it is for 5 seconds or 5 minutes.
When you can allow yourself to feel any feeling, you are more powerful and have a greater capacity to be close to your loved ones. They get to experience a fuller version of you.
