Tips From A Couples Therapist: 5 Ways to Stay Connected Your Partner Over The Holidays
1. Stay connected with yourself
When you’re in touch with you, you’re a better partner. Right now, many of us are busy. Whether you’re traveling to visit to family or friends, hosting house guests, or just going to a lot of events, you might get out of touch with YOU.
One of author Gretchen Rubin’s happiness tips is “treat yourself like a toddler.” You would insist that a toddler get regular meals, sleep, and whatever kind of routine they require. If you don’t give a toddler those things, they melt down. We might not melt down quite as quickly, but we do melt down!
None of the other stuff going on matters as much as your health and happiness. If there’s something you need to do to get back in touch with you, do it. Do you need to get some sleep tonight? Drink a glass of water right now? Stretch your body? Unplug for a few hours and talk to no one? Do it.
2. Create a goodbye and hello ritual
Make a little space every time you say goodbye or hello for connection. Slow down for a few seconds, make eye contact, and give your mate a kiss, hug or other intentional connecting act. If you don’t have time or emotional space for that, maybe go back to tip #1 and repeat.
3. Change up your gift giving and buy an experience
If your gift ritual is working well for you, don’t change a thing. Otherwise, consider buying an experience rather than a thing. Schedule something for AFTER the holidays so that you’ll look forward to it together. If you’re not sure what to do together, here are some ideas that won’t cost as much as diamonds.
4. Let your sweetie skip an event with no guilt
If your partner has less energy for social events than you do, don’t insist that you attend everything together. You’ll get a better version of your sweetie when you get home.
5. Find one holiday obligation to get rid of
Sometimes tradition is a beautiful thing. Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass. See if there is anything you’re planning to do that neither of you really value. See if there’s a simpler version of a tradition that would still be satisfying.
