Do You Ever Say “You Should Know”?

Do you find yourself saying any of these things?

• If you cared, you would know.

• If you'd been listening, you would know.

• After all this time, you should know.

• If I have to tell you, it doesn't count.

• I shouldn't have to tell you.

You've fallen into the "You Should Know" trap.

You're believing one of the myths about relationships that is common in our culture, the myth that being a good partner means being an accurate mind reader. The truth is that even in the most wonderful long term relationship, people have to share their needs and wants hundreds and thousands of times. It is part of your job as a good partner to constantly update your partner on your needs and wants, and to ask for these things.

One reason we fall into the "You Should Know" trap is that asking for what we need is difficult. It is difficult to make yourself vulnerable and ask for something, but it is exactly what you need to do.

Next time you find yourself getting ready to say "you should know," slow down, breathe, and tell your partner what you need. It will get easier with practice.

We're here to help. Call 510-826-3359 or schedule a free phone consultation now.