In a Couple? Here's Why You Need Friends!

As couples therapists, we usually focus our expertise on romantic partnerships. We must also remember that one's romantic partner is not their only important relationship. We live in a very couple centric society. Being in a couple does have a lot of benefits. When things are going well, partners give each other companionship, sex, parenting help, financial support, and emotional support. Understandably, that’s also a lot of pressure for one person. We can’t always meet all of each other’s needs. If a person expects to have all of their needs met in one relationship, it often leads to disappointment and resentment.

Rather than settle for not getting your needs met, you’ve both got to nurture other relationships. Don’t forget your friends.

You’ve got a lot of different parts to you.  Each of those parts needs to be seen and attuned to. Perhaps you’re a mom, and you’ve got a friend who understands you as a parent. You might be interested in spirituality, and you’ve got a friend who joins you in that exploration. At times you need to laugh incredibly hard and you have a friend who brings that out in you. When you want to talk about the book you’re reading or the show you’re watching, there’s a friend who has just as much to say as you do.

When you spend time with different friends, you let all those parts of you get some attention and attunement.  Being seen for all of who you are makes you feel whole and fulfilled.

Rather than seeing your friendships as competing for time or energy with your romantic relationship, notice how your friendships can meet your needs and therefore support you in your romantic relationship.

Need some help with your relationship? Schedule a free consultation now.